Though I don’t like to compare myself with the apostle Paul (other than that we were Jews who, having once hated Jesus, came to love Him instead), one powerful similarity exists between us. And it can be found in Augustine of Hippo, who wrote: “Before we can under- stand, we have to believe.”
Think about Saul of Tarsus. What did his intellectualism, his study, his presup- positions, culture, emotions, and training lead Saul to do? “Then Saul, still breath- ing threats and murder against the dis- ciples of the Lord, went to the high priest” (Acts 9:1).
Yes, it led him to kill Christians.
Then what happened? Paul is on the road to Damascus, and as he is thinking about logic, reason, nature, the Greek philosophers, and even Scripture, it sud- denly hits him after deep thought and study: Wait a minute: Jesus is the Messiah, after all.
Of course not. Instead, Jesus supernat- urally revealed Himself to Paul (verses 3-10), who, now believing in Jesus— became the world’s greatest expositor of Christian doctrine.
In short, Paul first believed, and then understood.
Almost 2,000 years later something similar happened to me. Though irreli- gious as a tuna, I had occasional doubts and was growing more open to spiritual realities. Then one night in 1979, in Gainesville, Florida, the Lord Jesus— maybe not as dramatically as Paul, but just as abruptly, and unmistakably— revealed Himself to me, and I became a believer, even though I knew nothing about Christian theology. (Had you told me that night I was a sinner, for example, I wouldn’t have known what you were talking about.)
This is the point. I did not study my way to faith; I began with it and could not have proceeded without it. I’m not saying that a person cannot study them- selves into a logical and rational decision for Christ, but only that it was faith that left me open to the workings of the Holy Spirit, who alone gave (and still gives) me an understanding of truth in a way that makes it more than just facts. Though I can’t prove a counter-factual, the Bible studies I had right after my new birth experience, studies that so impressed me and strengthened my faith in those first days, would have meant nothing had I not had faith to begin with.
Decades ago I had studied biblical Aramaic with one of the world’s greatest Old Testament scholars (now deceased). His knowledge of the texts and of the language was amazing, phenomenal even. And though not sure if he believed in God, I was sure that he didn’t believe the Bible was inspired, because he would, at times, mock it as such. Can you have so much knowledge of the Bible, of its history and of its languages—and yet still be steeped in darkness?
Apparently.
“But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him” (Heb. 11:6).
Or, as Augustine said: “Before we can understand, we have to believe.” And believe me, I understand what he meant.
Clifford Goldstein is editor of the Adult Bible Study Guide. His latest book is Risen: Finding Hope in the Empty Tomb.
